Public Service Jobs
Detective & Criminal Investigator
- Must understand that to be a decent detective, you'll need to be a crazy loner. Divorced, widowed, or borderline alcoholics are a plus.
- Must never refer to yourself as a gumshoe. You will never be looking for Carmen Sandiego.
- Must be available late nights and holidays. Sometimes just to sit at your desk in the dark with one small desk lamp thinking about clues until you crack the case.
- Must never give up on a case. Not even if the Chief threatens your job and promises that you'll never work in this town again.
- Must be able to keep your composure when the Chief yells at you for the Mayor chewing his ass out.
- Must never speak to the Mayor directly. You are not qualified to handle an ass chewing.
- Must realize that if you begin to investigate a murder, many more murders will happen in succession until you solve the original case. This is how it always works.
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