Business Jobs

Chief Executive Officer

Must negotiate a lucrative severance package so that getting fired is almost better than going to work.
Must act important, hold large meetings, have lots of plans, but not actually make any changes or have any real clue as to how things work.
Must master the 'open door policy' without actually having one.
Must have a dish full of M&M's or other candy for your office visitors to show you're 'one of them'. Even though you're not.
Must have weekly meetings with the Public Relations Manager and have their department write all of your speeches. Rookie CEO's try to do this on their own; rarely do they last a month.